existing as a woman in this world is living with the knowledge that you are too much and never enough and whatever…sometimes it’s existing with harsh spotlights perpetually shining on you, ruining your skin and blurring your vision, and everyone can see you but you can’t see anyone; sometimes it’s existing on the precipice of the world, on the borders of existence, waving through a window on the outside looking in, looking at all the other girls with spotlights bruising their delicate faces. either way, no matter how you spin it, you’re always looking at other people of either gender looking at yourself
lmfao i'm so obsessed with this quote
i’m supposed to be working on law school applications right now but i’m dumping instead. sometimes i feel as though there’s some top-secret society amongst the most beautiful, spiritually integrated, desirable women that i know and for some reason i don’t have any of the keys to it or their copies. there’s some divine secret amongst them that i have yet to figure out that gives them their essence, their grace, their magnetic aura. it’s a certain glow that i’ve been chasing all my life, and my motives have been both internal and external - you can probably guess what “external motivation” consists of. i’m not proud of any of it. but it’s what i want.
can you put a monopoly on desirability? is it something quantifiable? easily obtained at the stock market? can i be a trader or a broker in it? how do you tap in, crack th code
am i a traitor?
or am i just human? either way God and Dworkin will forgive me; i’m sorry that i’ve failed you
admittedly i think about all forms of feminism and social justice the least whenever i have a warm body beside or beneath me, and there is a. warmth in the pit of my stomach (and lower). i thought i could be a radical feminist, i love the girls, but i love love too much and i always have. i was brought up on the magical fairytales and happy endings of disney low-key even before i could even walk. i daydream more about my wedding than i do about my own liberation, but doesn’t that make me liberated enough? who’s point of view matters on this?
if you marry me i’ll cook for you sometimes. but you have to be sweet on me in return
i put “right wing women” on my christmas list this year. copies are so rare and out of print that the cheapest copy was $150. i’m also going to try and read sexual personae for the fifth time.
Yeah, I wish I'd been, I wish I'd been, a teen, teen idle
Wish I'd been a prom queen, fighting for the title
Instead of being sixteen and burning up a bible
Feeling super, super, super suicidal
The wasted years, the wasted youth
The pretty lies, the ugly truth
And the day has come where I have died
Only to find, I've come alive
I wanna be a virgin pure
A twenty-first century whore
I want back my virginity
So I can feel infinity
That was real, about activism & politics becoming a lot less- or unimportant when you’re in love 💯 I felt that